I found this post over at
Diapers & Daisies and I just had to repost it here. She came up with these "rules" herself. Reading this you know that its the way you want it to be with your daughter. Thanks Sarah :)
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Rules for Mothers of Daughters.
1. Paint her nails.
Then let her scratch it off and dirty them up.
Teach her to care about her appearance, and then quickly remind her that
living and having fun is most important.
2. Let her put on
your makeup, even if it means
bright-red-smudged lips and streaked-blue eyes. Let her experiment in her
attempts to be like you…then let her be herself.
3. Let her be wild.
She may want to stay home and read books on
the couch, or she may want to hop on the back of a motorcycle-gasp. She
may be a homebody or a traveler. She may fall in love with the wrong boy, or
meet mr. right at age 5. Try to
remember that you were her age once. Everyone makes mistakes, let her make her
own.
4. Be present.
Be there for her at her Kindergarten
performances, her dance recitals, her soccer games…her everyday-little-moments.
When she looks through the crowds of people, she will be looking for your smile
and pride. Show it to her as often as possible.
5. Encourage her to try on your shoes and
play dress-up. If she would rather wear her
brother’s superman cape with high heals, allow it. If she wants to wear a tutu
or dinosaur costume to the grocery store, why stop her? She needs to decide who
she is and be confident in her decision.6. Teach her to be
independent. Show her by example that woman
can be strong. Find and follow your own passions. Search for outlets of
expression and enjoyment for yourself- not just your husband or children.
Define yourself by your own attributes, not by what others expect you to be.
Know who you are as a person, and help your daughter find out who she
is.
7. Pick flowers
with her. Put them in her hair. There is
nothing more beautiful than a girl and a flower.
8. Let her get
messy. Get messy with her, no matter how much
it makes you cringe inside. Splash in the puddles, throw snowballs, make mud
pies, finger paint the walls: just let it happen. The most wonderful of memories
are often the messy ones.
9. Give her good
role models- you being one of
them. Introduce her to successful woman- friends, co-workers, doctors,
astronauts, or authors. Read to her about influential woman- Eleanor Roosevelt,
Rosa Parks, Marie Curie. Read her the words of inspirational woman-
Jane Austen, Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson. She should know that anything is
possible.
10. Show her
affection. Daughters will mimic the compassion
of their mother. “I love yous” and Eskimo kisses go a long way.
11. Hold her hand.
Whether she is 3 years-old in the parking lot
or sixteen years old in the mall, hold on to her always- this will teach her to
be confident in herself and proud of her family.
12. Believe in her.
It is the moments that she does not believe in
herself that she will need you to believe enough for both of you. Whether it is
a spelling test in the first grade, a big game or recital, a first date, or the
first day of college…remind her of the independent and capable woman you have
taught her to be.
13. Tell her how
beautiful she is. Whether it is her first day
of Kindergarten, immediately after a soccer game where she is grass-stained and
sweaty, or her wedding day. She needs your reminders. She needs your pride. She
needs your reassurance. She is only human.
14. Love her
father. Teach her to love a good man, like
him. One who lets her be herself…she is after all wonderful.
15. Make forts with
boxes and blankets. Help her to find magic in
the ordinary, to imagine, to create and to believe in fairy tales. Someday she
will make her 5 by 5 dorm-room her home with magic touches and inspiration. And
she will fall in love with a boy and believe him to be Prince Charming.
16. Read to her.
Read her Dr. Seuss and Eric Carle. But also
remember the power of Sylvia Plath and Robert Frost. Show her the beauty of
words on a page and let her see you enjoy them. Words can be simply written and
simply spoken, yet can harvest so much meaning. Help her to find their meaning.
17. Teach her how
to love- with passion and kisses. Love her passionately. Love her father passionately
and her siblings passionately. Express your love. Show her how to love with no
restraint. Let her get her heart broken and try again. Let her cry, and gush,
giggle and scream. She will love like you love or hate like you hate. So, choose
love for both you and her.
18. Encourage her
to dance and sing. Dance and sing with her-
even if it sounds or looks horrible. Let her wiggle to nursery rhymes. Let her
dance on her daddy's feet and spin in your arms. Then later, let her blast noise
and headbang in her bedroom with her door shut if she wants. Or karaoke to Tom
Petty in the living room if she would rather. Introduce her to the classics-
like The Beatles- and listen to her latest favorite- like Taylor Swift. Share
the magic of music together, it will bring you closer- or at least create a
soundtrack to your life together.
19. Share secrets together.
Communicate. Talk. Talk about anything. Let
her tell you about boys, friends, school. Listen. Ask questions. Share dreams,
hopes, concerns. She is not only your daughter, you are not only her mother. Be
her friend too.
20. Teach her
manners. Because sometimes you have to be her
mother, not just her friend. The world is a happier place when made up of polite
words and smiles.
21. Teach
her when to stand-up and when to walk away. Whether she has classmates who tease her because of
her glasses, or a boyfriend who tells her she is too fat- let her know she does
not have to listen. Make sure she knows
how to demand respect- she is worthy of it. It does not mean she has to fight
back with fists or words, because sometimes you say more with silence. Also make
sure she knows which battles are worth fighting. Remind her that
some people can be mean and nasty because of
jealousy, or other personal reasons. Help her to understand when to shut her
mouth and walk-away. Teach her to be the bigger -the better-
person.
22. Let her choose
who she loves. Even when you see through the
charming boy she thinks he is, let her love him without your disapproving words:
she will anyway. When he breaks her heart, be there for her with words
of support rather than I told-you-so. Let her mess up again and again until she
finds the one. And when she finds the one, tell her.
23. Mother her.
Being a mother—to
her—is undoubtedly one of your greatest
accomplishments. Share with her the joys of motherhood, so one day she will want
to be a mother too. Remind her over and over again with words and kisses that no
one will ever love her like you love her. No one can replace or replicate a
mother’s love for their children.
24. Comfort her.
Because sometimes you just need
your mommy. When she is sick, rub her back, make her soup and cover her in
blankets- no matter how old she is. Someday, if she is giving birth to her own
child, push her hair out of her face, encourage her, and tell her how beautiful
she is. These are the moments she will remember you for. And someday when her
husband rubs her back in attempt to comfort her...she may just whisper, "I need
my mommy."
25. Be home. When she is sick with a cold or broken heart, she
will come to you: welcome her. When she is engaged or pregnant, she will run to
you to share her news: embrace her. When she is lost or confused, she will
search for you: find her. When she needs advice on boys, schools, friends or an
outfit: tell her. She is your daughter and will always need a safe harbor- where
she can turn a key to see comforting eyes and a familiar smile: be home.
This is for my daughter. I love my Bird with all my heart.
